News Flash: The System is Rigged
Remember, the Barbie monologue (of course you do). I find myself thinking of this section ALL the TIME:
“But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.”
Every time, I say the word “grateful,” I hear the sing-song voice of America Ferrera saying, “always be grateful.” What I wish I remembered instead is “never forget that the system is rigged.” The system is rigged. It’s not you.
Women in corporate America, women in a male-dominated industry: We are working within a rigged system.
And, some of us (me included!) weren’t taught the tools to succeed within it. When I realized the system was rigged, it was a news flash. But why was I so oblivious? Cultural norming.
Years ago, I heard this wonderful podcast about sisterhood between white women and black women. Stella Nkomo and Ella Bell Smith, were black professors who studied the relationship between white women and black women. What Stella Nkomo said shocked me to my core. Here’s an excerpt of what she said:
“White women managers seemed to be totally oblivious to the structural barriers and the political climate and seeing the organization as a place based on merit. It was striking that “If I work hard, I’ll be okay in this environment”…the sense was it was a level playing field…White women had much less socialization of “look, your gender is going to be treated differently.” And, the black women were buffered from that because they were told by their families “yes you can be anything you want to be but you’re going to face racism, you’re going to be treated differently, and you need to prepare yourself for this.”
OMG. Black women were taught the system was rigged, how to spot the systematic issues, and how to respond. White women were taught – especially in my generation – to politely ignore and move on when something wasn’t right. (God forbid we correct our elders!) Wow! No wonder I was surprised when I found my head butting up against a ceiling, when the system no longer rewarded me for my work, when I found the rules had changed on me and that “what got me here, wouldn’t get me there.”
If I were talking to my 27-year old self about her career journey, I would tell her to:
Wise up…to recognize earlier that the system is rigged. Then, study resilience and how to speak out.
To be more bold not less. It feels risky to speak out, but the real risk is being complacent and, worse, complicit. And, my observation is that the women who speak out are often considered more influential and promoted faster. Build up your FU fund and your network, and then be bold.
Figure out what works for women. Men will give you all types of bad, gendered advice. Find the data on what works for women.
Learn that everything is a negotiation. You’re negotiating timelines, project scope, resources, investment strategies, contact strategies, etc. The sooner you recognize that everything is negotiated, the sooner you can hone your skills.
I’m hopeful that our younger sisters in the workplace will have it easier. Older Millennials and Gen Xers are the sandwich generation within the workplace. We’re old enough that we still feel the pulls of the outdated norms, and young enough to recognize that the future is equality. It’s up to us Gen Xers and older Millennials to set the future direction of what defines leadership, what gives someone executive presence, and how we will serve investors differently.
Let’s do it together,
--Shelby
BTW: Never miss a post by signing up for our newsletter.