More for Others
Image: Sunrise
“I believe ambition is not a dirty word.” Reese Witherspoon
Reese, I’m in total agreement. It's a powerful force that propels us toward our goals, fueled by determination and hard work, according to Oxford. And yeah, I have ambition. I am ambitious.
You know those moments hanging out with friends when we sort of sheepishly admit, "What I really want is X" or "I wish I was doing Y"? It feels like so many of us, especially women, are holding back our deepest desires. There are tons of reasons why, and they're all well-documented—the double-bind, societal expectations, you name it. (For me, part of my sheepishness about ambition stems from growing up in rural Missouri in a time when ambition was connected to “feminism” and - to the church I was raised within - feminism was the degradation of the family. OH MY!)
My question now is “How do we break free from all that and boldly declare our dreams, then go after them with everything we've got?” I believe part of the answer lies in reframing our mindset.
This week, I’ve been diving into The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist and Ask Like an Auctioneer by Dia Bondi. Twist talks about embracing a mindset of sufficiency and how to make an impact. Bondi talks about how to push forward with asks that make you freak out because by doing so, as women, we can get more out of life. Both unite around the goal of more for others, that is achieving more to have more impact. The chase is not just the chase. It’s a chase for meaning and impact - a chase worth embarking on.
Twist says:
“I challenge you to move the resources that flow through your life toward your highest commitments and ideals, those things you stand for. I challenge you to hold money as a common trust that we’re all responsible for using in ways that nurture and empower us, and all life, our planet, and all future generations. I challenge you to imbue your money with soul—your soul—and let it stand for who you are, your love, your heart, your word, and your humanity.”
Early in her book, Bondi says:
“I want you to ask for more and get, unashamedly, because when you get what you want, you have an impact on us all. Sometimes the impact is direct.
A woman gets a raise, now she’s got more cash to activate in her philanthropy. An expert secures that big project that affords her to do more formal mentoring for a start-up accelerator supporting women founders. Your auntie asks big and now she is a decision-maker on recruiting policies in a field in which women and underrepresented folks are implicitly filtered out or blocked.
Or, maybe just the sheet act of advocating for ourselves in a very concrete way rubs off on others, such as in the case of one mom who…flipped a switch in her daughter’s brain.
Small shifts equal big gains over time.”
How we can reframe our ambition:
Family and personal choice. Ambition isn't just about personal gain—it's about empowering ourselves to make choices that benefit our loved ones. With greater resources, we can send our kids to college, break free from abusive relationships, tackle student debt, secure homes in better neighborhoods, explore the world with our families, and support aging parents. Ambition opens doors to a better life for those we care about most.
Philanthropy: Did you know that a whopping 85% of decisions on charitable giving in affluent households are influenced by women? And in 2022, more women (42%) than men (33%) dedicated their time to volunteering. These stats from the 2023 Bank of America Study of Philanthropy show that ambition isn't just about personal success—it's about using our resources to make a positive impact on the world around us.
Example to others. When we pursue our ambitions, we're not just doing it for ourselves. We're setting an example for our children and everyone else in our circle—men and women alike. By staying true to ourselves and our dreams, we give others permission to do the same, inspiring them to embrace their own ambitions and chase after their goals with gusto.
I hope this post encourages you to see your wildest desires in a new light—as opportunities to make a difference. Ambition isn't something to be ashamed of—it's a tool we can use to gather resources for the causes we believe in and amplify our personal impact on the world. It's not about us—it's about the change we can create.
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BTW Did you know that only about 1 in 6 RIA owners or principals are women and that fewer than 20% of financial advisors and wealth planners are women? I believe we need more women in the leadership roles of practices and, especially, as owners. If you have ambitions to start a practice, breakaway or make another structural change to your wealth business, reach out. I’d love to direct you to resources or work with you to chart your future journey.
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